How to be a thoughtful consumer or why too much stuff is wrecking our head and our planet

Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/adult-beautiful-elegant-eyewear-291762/

In the post-Christmas atmosphere of lifestyle purges and a general desire to re-assert balance after the bacchanalia of December I began to think about what constant consumption is doing to our planet, not to mention our psyches and our wardrobes. The truth is that we all own too much stuff. We have been groomed to exist in a perpetual state of acquisition and spend too much time trying to fill an internal void  with thoughtless, scatter-gun shopping. The desire for more and more possessions is punishing our planet and our pockets, yet breaking the addictive cycle of shopping highs and credit card lows that characterise this pattern is painful.  Teaching yourself to become a thoughtful consumer is not easy – ingrained habits die hard and relinquishing behaviour that plays havoc with our dopamine levels requires determination.
 
On the plus side, the carnage of a January credit card statement can  incentivise us to adopt a more focused way of shopping . The biggest myth of modern life is that consumption will bring us contentment: instead it lures us into a state of dissatisfaction that seems to spiral the more we buy. This piece is going to examine how to consume less, consume better and make your purchases work for your lifestyle and budget.    
 
We can now shop 24/7 wherever and whenever we want. We shop when we are happy, when we are sad, when we are bored and even when we are hungry.  Now when we feel the slightest trace of anxiety or dissatisfaction, instead of choosing a mood altering activity such as exercise, music or meditation we start scrolling our phones and log on, for what we refer to as retail therapy. Shopping is not therapy – it is a commercial activity and while I enjoy it, I don’t deceive myself that it is going to give me any long-lasting psychological benefit. Constant calls to action on sites suggesting that we are getting special discounts, sale previews and wardrobe must-haves all add to the sense of urgency that we must spend or lose out. Reflecting and rationalising on whether you need that 20th LBD or pair of denims seems dull when you are being urged to “Buy Now” in bold flashing font. So, most of us cast caution to the wind and succumb.  
 
Before online shopping and multiple collection seasons, we adopted a more organised approach to fashion. We went to look at clothes in actual shops, tried them on, went away and thought about the item and after a 2nd or 3rd visit committed to a purchase.   Now because of constantly arriving merchandise and the resulting all year round sales we feel spurred on to buy without evaluating if we need, like or want what we are buying. The constant availability of new stuff sends our latent Hunter Gatherer instincts into overdrive and soon we are the owners of bulging wardrobes but conversely “Nothing to wear”.     
 
One of the problems with the fecundity of fashion now, is that is lures us into buying clothes that don’t suit. Buying for your actual lifestyle (work, school runs, weekends) is much more beneficial than shopping for dreamed about  trips to the South of France or the Oscars so why in the sales do we purchase ridiculous kaftans, satin jumpsuits and tottering heels? Because fashion sells us a fantasy and we all love to dream, we can quickly lose the ability to rationalise our purchases and fall prey to slashed prices and suggestive selling. Want versus need could be the subject of a doctoral thesis in the context of fashion, and while we don’t have to need every single item we buy, we should be building our wardrobe of about 80% functional, classic basics and 20% seasonal trends to add variety and newness. Unfortunately the reverse is often the reality with many women wearing 20% of their wardrobe 80% of the time.                  
 
If catatonic consumption is akin to self-harm then what are the practical steps to quell the urge to splurge mindlessly? A series of suggestions I recommend include:

• Know your signature style – as I have written previously on this blog the advantages of adapting a signature style or personal uniform are multiple - it saves you time, money and unnecessary stress. By defining your own style template, you streamline your life and make your wardrobe your ally rather than your enemy.” If you are assured in your style, then you are less likely to be tempted by frivolous non-you items and will have a personal style plan when shopping.
• Avoid temptation if your willpower is weak – learning to delay gratification is challenging but like a muscle, willpower can be developed with repeated use. The more you develop the habit of exercising your critical faculties to reject mindless consumption, the easier it will become. If in doubt leave an item – don’t buy just because it is reduced, it is payday or because you had a shit day at work. If you don’t have the money, then don’t try the item on – you are twice as likely to buy once it has been on your back. Learn to separate misplaced urges to shop from the emotions and behaviour patterns that drive them. If feeling particularly vulnerable –  go for a walk, read a book or listen to music. There are many other mood-enhancing activities that can trump shopping, that don’t carry the financial sting.
• Unsubscribe from all those fashion websites that send mail shots to your in-box to constantly tempt you – it means less junk in your account and a clearer head too.
•  Be clear about what you need and want from your wardrobe – see the 80/20 ratio versus Basics and Trends as above. Shop for the life you have and not the life you fantasise about – there is no point having a wardrobe for the French Riviera if you live in damp old Dublin.  Also, be mindful of your budget and what you can afford to spend on clothes – if you have a COS budget then you cannot shop in Celine, no matter how much those beautiful minimal styles appeal to your stealth luxe leanings. A spend of 5% to 10% of your take home pay is the most you should allocate for your clothes. Stick to a palette of neutrals for core pieces and introduce colour through accessories, knitwear and manicures.
• It may be a cliché, but buy the best quality you can afford – cheap clothes are a false economy, while buying quality items in good fabrics will deliver the greatest value. I have clothes that are over a decade old that I still wear and which still look good, because they were made with care and attention to detail. Once you have invested in quality, ensure its longevity by giving your clothes adequate TLC – clean, mend and maintain garments regularly and they will last.          
• Shop your own wardrobe – take everything out of your wardrobe and try it on again. You may be surprised, particularly if your closet is jammed full-to-capacity. Too much in your wardrobe can prevent you from appreciating the contents, so schedule a twice-yearly cull or wardrobe weed to sort out everything. (I will write on Wardrobe Weeding Strategy in my next post).  Experiment with new combinations of garments you already own and you will discover the potential of your existing wardrobe – this knowledge will also allow you to shop more successfully in the future as you will carry a visual recall of your wardrobe contents.
  

• Carry a list with you of items you need to replace – this will focus your mind and help to avoid costly delusional purchases. Prioritise staples even in the sales and you will get maximum return for your money.

• Research your shopping before you spend – ensure that you are getting the best value by checking across a number of websites, if shopping online, and check the returns/exchange policy if shopping in a bricks and mortar store.
• Never be led by price alone, regrets are generally the result – don’t buy an item purely because it is 70% off, if it doesn’t suit you or your life. Don’t be influenced by the fact that some celebrity wore the piece if it looks ridiculous on you – the celebrity was probably gifted it or had it on loan and didn’t have to worry about her cost-per-wear ratio.
  
• Ask yourself it the item honestly fits and flatters you  - don’t listen to friends, family and sales-people but trust your own gut instinct. Usually we know innately if a garment suits or not. Never be tempted to buy a piece that you will “slim into” as this is a waste of money and you will regret it bitterly, when it is hanging unworn in your wardrobe. Similarly be cautious of buying items that are too large that you plan to have sized down. Altering a garment to take it down a size is often complicated and labour-intensive and therefore expensive. It also takes a skilled alterations person to accomplish this and sometimes you can end up with a butchered garment, if done inexpertly. Also be cautious about buying damaged goods unless it is a minor fault such as hem down or a ripped seam, which are relatively easy to repair. If you buy a reduced  “ Sold As Seen” item  then the retailer may refuse to exchange it  for you later.      
  
•  Finally, only buy clothes you truly love and that will make your life easier every day. Develop restraint and shopping will become a treat again instead of a thoughtless distraction.  Also your head will be clearer, your wardrobe less cluttered and your credit card more solvent.
  

Nature is a better mood enhancer than shopping. When the urge to splurge hits, go for a walk instead. Photo by Rose Mary Roche