Ageing Joyfully

I have decided to start a blog focusing on women over 40 as I approach my 50th birthday this year. Approaching this “landmark”, I feel very grateful for the life I have lived thus far and am looking forward to just as diverse and fulfilling a second act. I am still in very good health, interested in life, love my family and friends and enjoy fashion, food, and popular culture with as much zest as ever. In this I know that I am no different to most women ageing today, in a way that is re-defining the term “middle-aged”.  

At last we are finally starting to see encouraging signs that les femmes d’un certain age are gaining visibility in mainstream media and advertising after decades of neglect. Since the 1960s western culture has been in thrall to a culture of youth and beauty  - women over 40 were only notable by their absence from fashion, advertising and media and a subliminal message was conveyed that we were to stay quiet and out of sight post our prime. 

But why is a woman’s prime associated with youth, beauty and her child-bearing years? This is a limiting, discriminatory and sexist perception of what women are capable of in their lives. If we look back at our mother’s and grandmother’s lives they probably had fewer opportunities, less education and more limited financial independence than we enjoy now.  While they were admirable women, the general consensus was that once the grey hairs started to arrive, women were somehow on an inexorable path to physical and social decline and were therefore less valuable. 

If you look around today nothing could be further from reality – women over 40 are active achievers who are enjoying their lives and are juggling myriad accomplishments, responsibilities and interests with aplomb. What exactly does the term middle-aged even mean anymore? Isn’t it simply obsolete?  In the past it was redolent of cauliflower perms, elasticated waists, floral aprons, bridge and bingo. Today the term seems utterly archaic as women are choosing to define their middle and later years as an adventure rather than a purgatorial wilderness of invisibility and anxiety. 

We are the ageless generation who simply don’t define ourselves by age.   

A recent survey for The Telegraph in the UK suggested that 90% of 40 plus women don’t even feel middle-aged, while 80% perceived that society’s assumptions about middle-aged women don’t accurately represent them or their lives. Is this surprising when we look around at the role models challenging jaded attitudes to ageing – Michelle Obama, Robin Wright, Lauren Hutton, Tilda Swinton and Brigitte Macron are glowing examples of women looking confident, chic and true to themselves while leading busy professional and personal lives.  They look empowered and  far from invisible. 

Part of the growing visibility of the post 40 sisterhood is to do with their financial clout – in a precarious and volatile world, their spending power has outstripped that of younger  generations. Paired with this is the fact that many older women are also using products and services that are aimed at younger women. Because of their youthful attitude, better health and the more relaxed nature of contemporary fashion, there is now little difference between how a woman dresses at 25 and 55. Wardrobe staples such as great jeans, stylish knitwear, cool coats and designer bags are favoured by women across the decades which has promoted a new generational blurring. Mothers and daughters swap clothes and shop from the same brands without a second thought. Because of these factors fashion, beauty and lifestyle brands are finally starting to wake up to the importance of older women to their finances. I hope that this isn’t just a passing fad and that the older beautiful faces we have seen recently in ad campaigns including -  Cate Blanchett, Joni Mitchell and Julia Roberts will continue to feature even more in the future. After all neither we nor our spending power are going anywhere. 

Yet despite all these advances women in the 40 plus demographic can still feel ill-represented by advertisers and media – some depictions of them are downright condescending while others are offensive. No affluent intelligent woman wants to buy an anti-wrinkle cream advertised by a dewy 22 year old  but neither do they want to see themselves portrayed dancing around a gleaming house espousing the attributes of cleaning products with maniacal zeal.              

Women over 40 no longer yearn to be 25 again - they are however interested in looking like the very best version of their current age. They want portrayals in media that show them as independent, intelligent and resourceful. The want information, entertainment and advice that is pertinent to them not relentless pieces about Botox and how to look younger. Women over 40 care about their well-being – be it physical, emotional or spiritual and are taking care of themselves better than any previous generation. Personally speaking I want to age well and healthily, not fight an exhausting and futile war against every line and wrinkle.  I want this part of my life to be lived joyfully, not with regret. If I am constantly trying to retrieve a version of myself that is gone then how can I live a happy and fulfilled life now? And essentially even though my exterior might change I still remain the same person. 

As I age I don’t intent to disengage from the world – I want to become one of what digital entrepreneur, Gina Pell has christened the “Perennials”  - “ ever blooming relevant people of all ages who know what is happening in the world, stay current with technology and have friends of all ages”. Like her I want to “stay curious” and be one of those “passionate, compassionate, creative and confident, collaborative, global-minded risk takers”.

In this blog I want to explore topics such as fashion, beauty, lifestyle, wellbeing and popular culture relevant to women who are north of 40 but who don’t intend to let their enjoyment of life diminish with the decades. I know I will age but I won’t be invisible. I am determined to live my life with joy, retain my vivacity and continue to learn as much as I can.

As Coco Chanel observed: “after 40 nobody is young, but one can be irresistible at any age”.
    

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